I'm Kind of Over Lights and Music.

OMGGGGGGGGGGGG so i'm so dumb that i totally forgot my password to this blog. i guess i just didn't use it as often as i should have. i'm obsessed with myspace and twitter and facebook. why should it be so fucking difficult for my to post on here? it's pretty much the same damn thing, but at least i don't have to stay under 140 characters. i guess i don't like posting on here because i don't get that much of a response on this site. even though that's not what it's made for... but nonetheless, i should make a list of ALL the things i'd rather be doing than blogging. pretty much it's just a list of what i do throughout a normal day. sleep. straighten my hair. put makeup on. take pictures of myself. cook. eat. clean. shower. twitter. myspace. talk on the phone. email. download and listen to music. suck on bottles of liquor. roll. dance. get and give lightshows. gossip. yell. watch desperate housewives. watch real housewives of atlanta. chit. chat. argue. think. yeah this is a pretty pointless post. i guess i just typed it to help me think a bit. but yeah i really should post more. i can complain about things, and not too many people would have to hear it.

for a change of thoughts:

i'm over rolling. i don't find it to be fun and AMAAAAAAAAAAZING and orgasmic anymore. i think i just really need a break from it. i know i love it a lot, but like, if i don't do it for a while, i feel like i can appreciate it more. i'm even kinda over electro and techno and shit like that for right now. i've been listening to slower, more melodic music lately... no more remixed panic attacks.... i'll get sick of boring music soon and i'll wanna hear nothing but electro again. in like a week. or two. i'm not really annoyed right now... i just want a change of scenery. i think i just need a new foundation color and some siouxsie and the banshees eyebrows. that sees to be the internation cure-all these days. it's amazing how pretty much every episode of desperate housewives can ALWAYS make me LAUGH, CRY, GET MAD, AND feel somewhat ANXIOUS.

omg i'm always paranoid that my mom's going through all my shit. i fucking hate her most of the time. she probably is going through my shit right now. i hear her rustling around through stuff on the other side of the house. i just get really pissed off when something of hers goes missing and she like goes through all my drawers and my closet and my nightstand and shit. she never finds what she's looking for because either i didn't take the item in the first place, or i'm smart enough not to fuckingh hide it in my room. i get annoyed when bags and leggings of mine go missing because she finds them in my room and thinks their hers. i wish my mom would calm the fuck down and have a drink or something... goshhhhhhhh

life's been pretty fucking bland lately. this time last year, life was pretty fucking amazing, and i was on top of the fucking world. oh well, people... situations... friendships... life situations.... they come and go.... things get better. then things suck. life's a really fucking annoying cycle. never mind, my mom just called me into her room to help her close her sliding door. i guess that's what that noise was. but i still fucking hate her for going through my shit all the time. lol i'm a very paranoid person. i straighten my hair and put makeup on before i go to sleep sometimes. a lot of the time. i need a vacation. i kinda wanna go live in la again for a little bit. i like typing on computers much better than typing on my ipod touch. that remiiiiiiiiiinds me i need to download a few songs.

you know what i find to be very fucking annoying right now?! missing people in the past. omg that topic keeps crossing my mind right now. i really wish certain things hadn't happened the way that they had. but i guess EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A FUCKING REASON. oh welllllllll. even though i remember lots of the negative aspects of these people in my past, i can still remember a lot of fun times i had with them. the fun kind of outweighs the negativity. i'm pretty sure i could find a way to contact all these people too. i just don't want to though. i have way too much fucking pride to ever converse with them ever again. not that we all parted on bad terms, but like.... why should i talk to them again? why should i make them think that i want them back in my lives? that i neeeeeeeeeeeeed them or something? they're obviously in my past for a reason. i grew out of that phase. i got over them. i didn't want to be that person anymore. i'm decently satisfied with where i am right now. i know too many people. sometimes i wish i could just get them all together at my house and just talk to them all. but a lot of them are, overall, pretty bad people. like i wouldn't want my parents to know that i've hungout with someone like that. WOW i've changed a lot over these past few years. A LOT has happened to me these past few years. mmmmmmmmkay i guess i've typed enough. i should go paint on my face and make my hair look messy some more.... or maybe i'll waste a few hours on the phone. MY PICK.